The explanation my bekiyus rebbe gave me all those years ago was that it was a “difficult” decision for HaShem to alter the pre-set course of nature in such a blatant way when He normally relegated it to a specific set of operational principles. On pages of the first chapter titled “Marriage,” Rabbi Medwed gives a very good explanation of this splitting the sea idea found in the Gemara which he footnotes as coming from the Zohar for some reason – why not just cite the Gemara? Of course, we know the familiar statement of Chazal, “Making shidduchim is as difficult for Hashem as splitting the Red Sea. What is the connection between the two? The Aruch l’Ner offers an enlightening explanation. Since creation, Hashem has His manner of dealing with the world. Generally, everything in the world runs according to the laws of nature. These laws too are an essential part of creation.
Jewish Vs. Goyish
Be positive Nothing is more attractive than a positive attitude! If you want to get married, you MUST learn to adopt one. A positive attitude is essential! Negative attitudes are counter-production to successful dating on a number of levels.
Goldy Krantz is an LMSW and a lifelong Queens resident, guest lecturer, and author of the shidduch dating book, The Best of My Worst and children’s book Where Has Zaidy Gone? She can be contacted at [email protected]
In our community, parents are expected to bear the primary responsibility for finding their children the right person to date and marry. Parents who themselves did not date within this system may appreciate learning a little bit about this “shidduchim process” before they approach friends or mentors for guidance. The content derives from a hashkafa somewhere between Modern Orthodox Machmir and Yeshivish. There are many gaps. I’d like this website to work like a wiki, with experienced readers contributing by adding material, correcting mistakes, or providing other points of view.
Please note that this website is meant purely as a public service; there is no intention to monetize it. The professionals listed in the Professional Resources page are included because they are known to be effective, and they have not paid to be listed. Hoping this is helpful, Chana P.
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Thoughts of an Orthodox Jewish Single Female. Perhaps the word “survive” is a bit extreme, but I couldn’t think of a better one that meant exactly what I’m trying to convey, and that was as close as it gets. I’d also be curious to see a version of this that was applicable to guys, since guys and girls struggles with dating are somewhat different.
Rule 1 of Shidduch Dating Survival: This may sound extremely pessimistic and depressing, but in fact it is quite practical, just let me explain. We often find ridiculous excuses to decide that someone is meant for us, when those things mean absolutely nothing.
Mar 14, · Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy.
This can actually damage more than help. A commonality amongst this group is that they are open to secular activities such as bars, clubs, and movies. Yeshivish Modern These tend to be individuals who identify more strongly with the Yeshivish-black-hat community, but feel that working in society is an essential part of their Judaism.
Such individuals strive to embrace a structured Torah lifestyle with a professional secular career. Yeshivish Black Hat With these individuals, Torah learning, prayer, and careful adherence to fulfillment of Mitzvos are core elements to a life of intensive religious commitment and spiritual growth. Strict and unbending loyalty to Halacha is seen as normative. Generally, an avoidance of the secular world is encouraged, and barriers are seen as critical to protecting against secular influences.
This can be reflected in an orientation in which additional emphasis is placed on prayer and fulfillment of Mitzvos with religious fervor and passion. Usually, there is a distinctive mode of Chassidic dress, which can vary according to the particular affiliation e. Breslov, Ger, Lubavitch Chabad , Satmar etc. Often, an individual follows and professes allegiance to a particular spiritual guide Rebbe.
Carlebachian These are individuals who are Shabbat and Kosher observant and tend to embrace a more spiritual, and relaxed observant lifestyle. Individuals who choose this category generally do not believe in labels or categorization. The last category makes the most sense.
Hanging on a Shidduch
This would both maintain their dignity and facilitate more comfortable interaction, thus enhancing the possibility for quality meetings. While the article was generally well received, it has become apparent after subsequent discussions that the thesis was somewhat premature. Quite a few singles and married folks are willing to acknowledge the advantages to meeting without the direct involvement of a third party, but they are reluctant to move forward with the idea for fear that interaction between the sexes outside the confines of a shidduch date is frowned upon by the Torah, if not entirely forbidden.
Jun 03, · Here are 3 rules of Shidduch Dating Survival that I wish I knew before I started dating. By “survival” I don’t mean that I’ve survived and I’m done dating, I mean that I feel like I’m surviving every day by still dating and haven’t given up hope and become completely depressed because of how difficult it can be at times.
Sometimes this results in a loveless shell of a marriage, sometimes it does real physical harm to the wife the stigmatization of divorce means that a lot of women live in abusive situations rather than leave their abusers. The marriages, however, stay together. Well, she did, and he abused her, and she left him. A brave thing to do in a small town. Tracy Michelle Hargett Abusive marriages suck ass. I was in one. A woman is unlucky enough to get with an abusive or adulterous husband then what you describe is the result.
On the other hand, and I hate to admit it, just because one man abuses does not mean they all do. Hell, they are probably with all the Elle McPhersons of the world. Nice guys like that have their pick. They want someone they can bond with, talk to, enjoy the company of, and love, whose general outlook and values they share, and whom they are attracted to.
“Driving the Jewish Men Away”
Contact Us Category Archives: We hope you find this corner to be a source of inspiration and clarity as you sort through the various challenges that this Parsha presents. In this section we hope to hear from you- the dilemmas you face, the feelings you encounter and the choices you may be struggling with.
The shidduch crisis is purely a Litvishe problem and it is most acute in North America. The crisis is defined by many more girls graduating the Bais Yaakovs in North America every single year than an availble supply of boys in the parashah of shidduchim. Clearly a critical component of the solution — and one that has been advocated by Gedolei Eretz Yisrael and tens of Roshei Yeshivos in North America — is to empower bachurim to start shidduchim slightly earlier, so that there will be the same number of boys and girls trying to get married.
Learning here until age 21, then going to Eretz Yisrael for one year or even longer, then coming back to the U. The crisis can be solved when bachurim start the shidduch parashah at a slightly younger age. The following are some points that have been raised, and are worth addressing: Hishtadlus, which is an absolute requirement, may help the girls who make the hishtadlus, but it will not change the overall situation.
We all wish it were not so. But nobody is helped by blaming the victims. We are currently dealing with a population of older single girls in the thousands, with many more joining that category every year. One crucial, final point: It is sad irony for parents to cry about the plight of their daughters when at the same time they allow their sons to not begin dating until age
Mormons and Jews: What 2 Religions Say About the Modern Dating Crisis
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A Shadchan’s Perspective on the Shidduch Crisis: Shadchan Crisis IS the Shidduch Crisis January 3, 1 share 0 Comments Traditionally, before making suggestions, Shadchanim strived to get to know the person usually by a face-to-face meeting, and stayed involved until the engagement, helping the couple smooth out the bumps along the way.
By Baila Sebrow Question: A shadchan was after us to give a yes to a boy who gave a yes to her. They spoke on the phone and made a date. He wanted her to travel to where he lives. My daughter, after a long day at work and school, came home, quickly changed her clothes, did not even have time to eat, and rushed to travel close to two hours on the train to meet him. Anyway, she gets to the place where they meet, and he takes her for a soda.
Now, please believe me. My daughter is not high maintenance at all.